


this side of paradise

by yukioapologist



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Coming Out, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Shura is supportive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-07 10:55:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20308327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukioapologist/pseuds/yukioapologist
Summary: Shiemi is relatively new to love. She's had crushes before, but this is the first time she's ever considered acting on those feelings. She doesn't know what to do... but that's where her former instructor comes in.





	this side of paradise

**Author's Note:**

> this first chapter is honestly just extreme self-projection. as most of my fics always are. shura takes on a motherly/sisterly role and gives shiemi advice i wish someone had given me before i confessed to my first crush.

The last thing Moriyama Shiemi expected was to be on her former teacher’s doorstep, much less being on her doorstep to ask for advice about girls and sexuality. But she didn’t have anyone else to ask, and rather than going to strangers on the internet for advice, she thought it’d be better to talk to someone who knew her.

And Kirigakure Shura was the best person to go to for this; Shura was possibly one of the most open-minded people Shiemi had ever met, and she didn’t mind helping her students if they needed her assistance, though she would sometimes grumble about it as if she did.

“Oh, Shiemi! What are you doing here?” Shura asks when Shiemi finally knocks on the door of her dorm room. She still thought it was weird that a teacher was living in the old boys’ dorms, but she wasn’t going to admit that out loud.

“I wanted to ask you for… uh, I need advice,” she replies shyly, trying her best not to trip over her words. She’d gotten better at managing her anxiety, and really wasn’t as shy or anxious as she used to be, but this was different. She was being as vulnerable as she could be, and revealing something about herself to Shura that she hadn’t even told her closest friends.

If she thought about it - and she didn’t want to - her asking for advice like this would be her first time coming out to someone.

“I’m not sure how much help I’ll be, but come in,” Shura replies, opening her door a bit more to let Shiemi in. “Would you like some tea?” she asks to be polite. “Or, since you’re an adult now, how about some beer?”

Shiemi makes a face at the suggestion. “Tea sounds great,” she smiles. “Beer isn’t my thing.” She grimaces at the memory, and silently curses Shima in her mind for even getting his hands on some for the then-exwires. She’s still surprised that Yukio had let him; the only ones who’d enjoyed it were Shima, Suguro, and Izumo. Rin hadn’t even participated - though that was because Shura had accidentally gotten him drunk before and he knew he wouldn’t like it this time around either.

She watches Shura brew the tea with interest, grateful for the delay this gave her to gather her thoughts. How would Shura react to what she wanted to say? And how much would she even be able to understand in order to give her the advice she needed? Would she accept her?

Shura frees her from her thoughts by setting a cup of tea down in front of her with a loud thud. “So, what did you come here for?” she asks, leaning forward in her seat expectantly. “What do you need my advice for?”

“Well, I - there’s this - I like -”

Shura reaches across the small coffee table and covers Shiemi’s shaking hands with hers. “Hey, take your time. If it’s giving you this much anxiety, it can probably wait until you’re one hundred percent ready, okay?” she says softly. “I haven’t seen you like this since your first year at True Cross!”

Shiemi nods, and focuses on the senior exorcist’s hands to calm herself down. She avoids looking at the woman when she does start talking. “I like someone,” she says finally, slowly. “A girl. And I - I think I’ve always known that I liked them, that I wasn’t interested in guys.”

Her nerves nearly overwhelm her, but she’s surprised to see that Shura is  _ smiling  _ at her. It’s a warm, comforting smile. An accepting one, and it gives her the courage she needs to continue.

“But is that normal?” she asks. “And how do I know if I like a girl like  _ that _ , or if it’s platonic?”

She wants to ask even more questions, but she doesn’t want to overwhelm the instructor with too many, especially when she’s not sure how relatable these feelings are for her.

“It’s completely normal. And sometimes it is hard to tell the difference - sometimes you might think you have romantic or sexual feelings for her, when really it’s just strong admiration. And sometimes you’ll even be so scared if how she might react to another girl liking her that you convince yourself you don’t like her,” Shura tells her softly, pausing every so often to make sure Shiemi’s listening. “But regardless of whatever it is, your feelings are valid.

“And I know that, sometimes, even the idea of confessing is scary because you’re terrified of ruining your friendship or creeping her out,” she continues, tightening her hold on Shiemi’s hands. “But if she reacts that way, whoever your crush is, she’s not worth it, okay? I need you to understand that. She’s not the kind of person you’d want in your life if that’s the case.”

Shiemi takes a moment to process Shura’s words. She knows they’re true, and hearing them come from someone she respects as both her superior and family friend, is very comforting. More comforting than she thought it would be.

After a few minutes of comforting silence, Shura pulls her hands away and opens her own beer. “Now, do you mind telling me more about this girl you like?” she asks, making Shiemi feel even more at ease by breaching the subject first.

“Izumo,” she admits quietly, almost shamefully. “I like Izumo. Actually… I think I’m  _ in love  _ with Izumo. I have been for a long time.”

“Why do you sound ashamed of that?” Shura asks, her smile now wiped off of her face. “With the look on your face, someone would think you’d just told me you murdered her,” she says.

“I’m not - I just… it’s - I don’t know,” Shiemi trips over her words, not sure of why exactly she feels like this. “It’s mostly just worry, I think, that she won’t like me back and it might make our friendship weird to throw unrequited love into the mix.”

“So, just for clarification - and this might be crossing boundaries - but does that mean she likes girls, too?” Shura inquires, though Shiemi’s certain everyone knows that Izumo is bisexual and this is just Shura not wanting to make assumptions based on what she must think are rumours.

“Yeah, she does. I thought everyone knew,” Shiemi replies meekly. She knows her cheeks are burning, and she probably looks a lot like the girl she was when she first joined the cram school. “I just don’t think I’m her type.”

Shura gives her a reassuring smile. “Well, you’re not gonna know until you tell her.” she says. “You don’t even have to tell her if you’re not ready - if you’re ever ready at all. Just make sure you don’t bottle it up too much, okay?”

Shiemi nods, and the two of them talk about other stuff while they both sip their respective drinks. Shiemi, surprisingly, doesn’t leave until the sun has gone down and Shura is asking if she’ll be spending the night in the boys’ dorms.

“I have to do some restocking for Futsumaya by tomorrow actually, but thank you for letting me talk to you for so long,” Shiemi replies, remembering last minute that she didn’t get much down at her family’s shop today. “You were really helpful!”

Shura pulls her into a hug at the door. “It wasn’t a problem,” she says. “It’s the least I could do for an old student.” She watches Shiemi walk down the hall before she calls out to her. “Let me know how that talk with Izumo goes, if it ever happens!”

She knows Shiemi is burning red by the sound of her voice when she yells back a rushed “okay” as she disappears around the corner.

**Author's Note:**

> if there are any spelling or grammar errors, i wrote this in the middle of the night and i haven't proofread it yet. i'll do that when i have time.


End file.
